Now, on to this week’s blog post:
Today we are talking about the Second Stage of Relationships, The Dating stage. As I mentioned in my last blog, I have noticed that my clients will fall into one of the 3 Categories when they come to work with me. Now, this is not a linear process and yes, people often (almost always) will go between the stages in their life
3 Stages of Relationships (By Olga Bochareva)
- The Healing Stage
- The Dating Stage
- The Couples stage
So, here is truth: You don’t have to want to be in a relationship.
But what makes me ranty is when women tell me they don’t want to be in a relationship, because relationships/dating overwhelm them (so, when we dive deeper, they really DO, just not in the draining one)
I want you to know, relationships are supposed to feel energizing, supportive and uplifting.
Yes, you might be less or more social, but if you’re dating or are in relationships and they feel stressful or heavy, something deeper is going on.
Today I wanted to share with you my fav advice when it comes to dating that helped both myself and my clients found insightful when in comes to a dating process.
First off, here is something that I tell my private clients all the time:
“If you are not having fun dating, you are not doing it right”.
The lessons below been written as reminders to myself when I was dating about 2 years ago. If you want to feel more uplifting and less draining in the dating process (or existing relationships), feel free to steal a few 🙂
12 Lessons from My Dating Journey
(or how to have a higher quality dating experience)
1. It’s ok to have space and to give space… (I use to feel very needy in the past when I did..)
2. It’s important to learn unattachment to the outcome, it’s the most beautiful way to show down in relationships (I used to tent to go 1000 mi/hour and make up stuff in my head about the guy too early..)
3. For me friendship have to come before intimacy, otherwise trust and respect are not there, thus no foundation for true connection.
4. ANY conflict is an opportunity to heal and grow … tap, journal, meditate … next day you’ll wake up in a better world, because you’ll be different.
5. It’s ok to let go: If it’s not HELL YES!, it’s a no…
6. It’s important for me to learn to speak freely, openly and with love about 4 topics: FEELINGS, MONEY, COMMITMENT AND SEX. If I can’t have an authentic conversation about either one, it’s not going to last…
7. It’s ok to trust man and love with an open heart … because no one can REALLY hurt you emotionally .. if you think they did: tap and release, it’s just an opportunity to evolve..
8. I want my man to know and practice releasing stress daily either through breathing, joga, meditation, journaling , EFT or any other mindful practices…
9. It’s important for me to be with someone who is VERY aware of his patterns, feelings and emotions.
10. My man does not have to spend a lot of time with me, but when he does I want him to be acutely PRESENT.
11. I want to be with someone who can take a lead in relationships and I can trust his decisions. This way I can relax and just be me.
12. I want to learn to default to GRATITUDE as my primary emotion at any point in my relationships…
I hope you find my lessons helpful and can snatch a few 🙂
Oh, and just a side note: this are big lessons, but learning them did help me attract an amazing, deep, supportive and conscious partner. I am honored to call him my husband now 🙂
Now, hit reply and let me know which lesson(s) would YOU like to “steal”?
All my love,
P.S. Missed part 1 of the Relationships Stages Series: “The Healing Stage”? No worries, here is the link to catch up.
P.S.S. You might have heard that I have secretly opened enrollment to a very intimate “Tap into your CREATIVITY” small group tapping program (based on the famous book by Julia Cameron, “The Artist’s Way”).
No big lunches, no webinars, not even a formal invitation page, but the program is already selling out.
If you want to tap into CO-CREATIVE vs CO-DEPENDENT relationships both with yourself and others, hit reply: “Tap into your Creativity info, please” and I’ll send you an email with all you need to know.