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How are you doing today?
Today, guys, we’re going to talk about something that came up in the conversation in my community lately. We talked about this concept of how to get your man to open up.
This is such a good question. The lady that I was talking to said:
“Yeah, I’m dating this guy and he’s great. I feel comfortable with him in so many ways. But I can’t seem to have a deeper conversation with him or been able to talk to him about things that I really want to talk to him about; things that go below surface level. Not like what’s for dinner and the groceries and what kind of weather we have today, but really deep, meaningful things like dreams and desires and relationships and emotions.”
This is such a juicy question. It’s such a great question that I wanted to make a video and talk to you guys about this. This is something that I’ve been craving for years. For as long as I remember when I was in relationships, this is something that I desired deeply. Whether or not I was able to admit to myself, this is something that I want.
I remember trying to talk to my ex-partner/ex-husband I just couldn’t figure out what was going on. I couldn’t figure out why I was so frustrated and why I was so unfulfilled. I remember I was trying to get him to answer the question and I would get upset and he would get upset because I would not get to hear the things that I wanted to hear. It just didn’t make sense to me.
Suddenly, I went through the journey that has to do with my self-exploration/growth and I started to understand the dynamic. I started to understand the concept of a superior man.
If you haven’t read the book by David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man, I highly recommend it. It’s a brilliant, brilliant book. He talks about this particular issue that we women crave and that we experience.
Essentially, here’s the truth, guys. You probably do not want to hear it, but…… YOU CAN’t.
That’s right, You can’t get your man to open up because he’s not a jar of pickles! You cannot get him to open up.
BUT there are certain things you can do to hel your nman be more open.
Now, if you are with a man that has a tendency for deeper connection, who has deeper consciousness and who is genuinely interested in this soul growth and soul evolution as you are, then naturally you will have this conversation.
Here’s the truth. At the beginning, when you’re just exploring your relationships – and I had this when I started dating Ernie. I told him pretty much on the first date that I’m looking for the type of relationship where I can talk about three things that people never talk about:
I want to be able to talk openly to my man about MONEY, SEX and EMOTIONs.
It was pretty clear for me, that If a man cannot handle this conversation, and you crave this depth of connection he’s probably a wrong guy for me.
Watch the video below to get my take on it and then hit reply and let me know what was your experience like with getting your man to be more open.
Ernie shared with me that that was a little scary. But he also shared with me he also wanted to learn those things because he understands, as a mature adult, it’s important for him to have difficult conversations. That’s what created the true, deep lasting bond and this is the core of the relationship.
Now, here’s the truth guys : Not every man and every woman craves this, but more and more in my community, a lot of them heart-centered entrepreneurs or somebody who is in a deeper journey of themselves and discovering themselves, either from the creative perspective or business perspective. They do have this need.
There’s a couple of things that you can do. First of all, share. Share what’s important to you. Right? Be honest and vulnerable and open-hearted, which is very hard. We live in this society where we are very, very closed-hearted. Every time we do open up, what happens? We get hurt. We learn early, early in life that it’s not safe to open up.
You’ll get hurt if you open up.
But what is the alternative to that?
Especially when we let it work right now and I talk to who are single. They say: “Well, I want somebody who is emotionally available.”
Guess what’s happened if you are not emotionally available yourself? What kind of man are you attracting?
I wanted to talk to you about this topic because this is something very dear and near to my heart and this is something that I’ve been going through and growing through. Right now, I feel like this is my duty and my honor to help others understand this dynamic.
I wanted to ask you, the relationship that you are with, if you are fulfilled in that, that’s probably not the reason you’re here. If you’re not 100% fulfilled, then are you willing and open to this kind of conversations? Can you go and talk to your man about this? The truth is, a woman’s open heart can break through some of those barriers and can help a man to live deeper and to think bigger and to be a leader. But the honest truth, guys is that if you haven’t gotten to this point, the chances are it’s just not the kind of man. It’s totally fine. There are a lot of couples who are very, very fulfilled in the level where they are.
This is something that I hope you’ll find useful. What we’ll do, guys, is we’ll do a quick tapping on this particular topic. What I want to do, guys, if you’re not familiar with tapping, it’s super easy. It’s just an emotional technique. Think about it as an emotional version of acupressure. It has to do with stimulating points – those are acupressure points – and what it does is it helps your body relax and be more receptive to seeing changes, to move through some blocks in your life – whether it’s creative challenges, work challenges, relationships or stress.
As you do this, guys, as you’re doing this tapping process, your mind and body are more receptive to seeing new things and to finally creating solutions to something that you used to feel stuck.
Do this with me guys. I want you to kind of close your eyes for a second. As you do, take a deep breath. Breathe in… and breathe out. As you do, guys, what I want you to do is I want you to kind of think about what it is that is bothering you in your relationships – whether it’s intimate relationships or any other bond – where you want people around you to be more open, more vulnerable, more intimate with you on different levels – whether it’s your man or maybe there’s somebody else that you want to open up to you. Maybe it’s your kids or your friend or anybody else that matters.
As you do so, I want you to kind of notice this area in your body, in your chest. The area of your heart. Kind of almost visually open it up a little bit. It’s just a practice to help you get into this vibration, to get into this feeling. What you’ll notice, guys, is that your shoulders drop a little bit.
Now, follow me. Do what I do, say what I say. It’s just a tapping script; very simple. We’ll do it for a few minutes. Ready?
Take two fingers and we’re going to tap between the eyes and just repeat what I say.
Even though I don’t feel like my man is opening up to me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though it’s hard for me to talk to my man about difficult things, I love and accept myself anyways.
Even though this is something that I’ve been struggling with, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
I can get my man to open up to me. All the struggle, all the stress, I release and let it go. Whatever it is, whatever it came from, my inability to be open, my unwillingness to open. It’s safe for me to shift this. If I’m willing to attract people in my life who are open, creative and ambitious, I’m going to become that first. This is the only way. This is my time to live this open heart, to love myself deeper, to think bigger, to be more feminine, to have fun, don’t take myself too seriously. But also allow myself to be honest with myself, to be congruent to my heart, to learn how to speak my truth with ease and grace.
So it is. I’m open and receptive to these changes and everything is working out for me.
Finish tapping and go ahead and grab your wrist and tap around like this.
Take a deep breath. Breathe in and breathe out and say the word, “peace.”
Gorgeous. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
Now, go out there and live with an open heart. Know that things are working out for you. If you are single, know that there is plenty of amazing, deep, gorgeous, conscious men out there and the minute that you drop into your true self, your honor self, the part of you that you haven’t been honoring, those men will appear in your life.
If you are married or in relationships, do the best you can to do your part. There’s two parts of a relationship and only one you can change. Work on that and see how your relationship transforms as a result of it. Do trust that whatever it is, whatever inner work you’re doing, as long as you’re aligned to yourself, things are going to just get better and better and better in your life. It happened with me hundreds of times. It happened in the life of clients over and over again. I see this dynamic. As you change within, your relationships transform for better. Your life transforms for the better.
Got a question? Ask away, I’ll be happy to answer.
Can’t wait to see you tap into your best relationship ever!
All my love,
P.S. Have you gotten my training on how to change a memory with Faster EFT?
Memories are the most powerful forms of affirmations, as they hold more than just words, they hold pictures, feelings, stories, videos, tastes and smells. The key to change is addressing and changing these memories.
I’ll teach you how to change them here. Just follow along as I guide you through a simple 3-step process on how to make changes to even the darkest memories, so you can start rewiring those subconscious connections for healthier and more fulfilling relationships.