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About a year ago a friend of mine was going through a break up, so I made this tapping video for her to help her feel better. Since then, this video has been my #1 most watched (over 2,000 views and counting) and shared (over 20 shares) video I’ve ever created.
The truth is, break ups do affect us on a deep level, and, if unaddressed, they create multiple energetic blockages on multiple levels. People who work with me on releasing their past pain notice they get better, not just emotionally, but financially too. Even their health and relationships improve.
So, how do you know when you have truly gotten over a break up, or if it’s still lingering in your energy system?
I have 2 simple questions for you to check for sure:
- Close your eyes and IMAGINE having a conversation with that person and giving them a hug while saying: I FORGIVE YOU, THANK YOU. If you have an emotional reaction to this, other than the feelings of peace and gratitude, you might have some work to do.
- Are you in a happy, committed intimate relationship RIGHT NOW? OR. Are you open to having one soon? If the answer is no, you might have some work to do.
If you are ready to leave the past in the past and truly make peace on a deeper level, grab a cuppa tea, tune in and follow through the 3 simple steps to let it go: “How to get over a break up: 3 things you can do RIGHT NOW to feel better. watch the video below. Plus its a great way to share it, if you know someone who could benefit from this}
Prefer to read it instead? Here Is the transcript of the video + the tapping script
Today, we are talking about how to get over a breakup. This is a question that came in from a couple of people in my community and I’ve been asked to make a tapping video on that.
Before we dive in, I wanted to tell you that those three things, you want to do them in order. The truth is, when you are going through a breakup, it’s obviously a hard time. Whether you’re the one who initiated, or your partner is the one whose idea it was to break up.
I’m talking from experience because I went through a divorce last year – six months from the moment I’m making this video. Well, a little bit more than that. It nine months ago, actually. I can relate to a lot of feelings and stories that we create when we go through this process.
The first thing that I want you to do, guys, and the first thing that will help you clear out and move past it and create new scenarios in your life, is just noticing any stories that you create around it. What happens often when something bad happens to us and we have certain feelings around it, instead of just feeling feelings, we’ll create a story. We’ll write a whole book about it. The story usually goes like, this: I’m not good enough. I’ve messed up. I’ve done something wrong. Something is naturally wrong with me at the core.
Notice what stories you are creating. Are you saying that you’re not loveable? Are you talking about or do you have a limiting belief that you’ll never find a person who loves you for who you are, so you have to settle? Here’s the truth: It doesn’t matter if he broke up with you or you broke up with him. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. You really, really don’t. You probably understand that logically, but emotionally what’s coming up for a lot of people is, “I’m not loved.” The abandonment, the rejection, the loneliness – a lot of loneliness.
The first thing is to notice what story you’re creating and what feelings are coming up.
The second thing that we’re going to do is we’re going to tap on it. Here’s something interesting with taping versus talking. I actually go to a counselor occasionally. My daughter is going through some treatment at the hospital and we have free counseling there. What I notice is that if I talk about things that bother me without tapping, I make things worse. Let me say that again. If you go into y our story and you don’t do anything to specific to release it, very often you will retraumatize yourself. Not always, but very often you will.
Tapping, as you’re talking about this, as you’re feeling those feelings, as you’re being aware of that, actually changes how you feel.
The next part, the third step that we’re going to talk about will fall on the ground to where you can get this information and you can implement it. What happens very often – and you can probably relate to this – you’ll go to someone who will give you really good advice, but you feel so crappy and so lonely and just so out of whack that you cannot take this advice, even though logically you understand that this is good. They’re telling you something and it totally doesn’t go in, because you are in that state. You are entranced. Tapping helps you break this state or the trance so you can hear that. Chances are, these voices sometimes come from within. You don’t even have to have someone to tell you things. Then we’ll talk about step three.
You ready? Let’s go ahead and do some tapping. What I want you to think about that breakup. Maybe it’s something that happened recently. Maybe it’s something that happened a while ago, but it’s still on your mind and on your heart. As you close your eyes and think about the person and look at that person, just notice what’s coming up. Is it loneliness? Is it rejection? Is it that they don’t love you? This general feeling of, “I’m not loved.” Maybe you are creating some other stories about yourself based on that experience or about that person. Whatever it is, we’re going to clear it out, so we can move on beautifully.
As you do, just go ahead and tap on the side of your hand and repeat after me:
Even though the breakup was hard, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I feel a lot of emotional turbulence – sad feelings and negativity – I love and accept myself anyways. Even though I feel lonely and isolated and rejected, I deeply and completely love, forgive and accept myself. That breakup, the relationship has ended, things that he told me, the way things went, I release and let it go.
All the feelings around it, all the emotions around it, it’s safe for me to clear it. It’s safe for me to move forward. What happened is in the past and it’s safe for me to move on. Even though right now I don’t feel like moving on because I’m very much stuck in the heavy feelings of it, it’s safe for me to feel better. Maybe I feel like a victim. Maybe I feel like I’ve been lied to. Maybe I feel like I’ve been betrayed. It’s safe to release it. My feelings, I’m in control. It’s safe for me to let it go. Whenever I feel it in my chest, my stomach, my back, or in other parts of my body, I choose to notice these feelings and I choose not to carry this trauma in me. Whether I’m blaming this other person, or I understand that that was the best thing for us to do, I release and let it go. Any aftermath of the breakup, all the ways it’s still bothering me, all the ways that it effects my current relationships, my health and my business.
I’m committed to this change. I’m committed to clearing it. It’s safe for me to let it go. Just let it go.
Grab your wrist and pull around, breathe in and breathe out. Say the word “peace.”
As you tap, what you’ll notice is it’s kind of starting to come down. It’s not so heavy and it’s not so dense. If you have more difficult feelings or memories, or any specific situation that took place in that relationship that as you look back, it gives you this shocked feeling or a very traumatic experience, what I recommend you do is called Memory Switch or Memory Flip. It’s a beautiful, deep process – a very simple process. When you go through that experience and you notice what happens and you notice how your emotion is represented. That’s how your subconscious hold it. Whenever your subconscious holds it, you are going to project and attract more of it. It’s crucial to go back and clear it.
Then what you do is you tap on it, you release the feelings, you release the pictures and you flip it. You actually change it. If you’re not familiar with this process, I’m actually sending an email on how to do it – there’s a little mini training – tomorrow and you can do it yourself. It’s very simple. If you’re not on my list, I’ll make sure to put a link to where you can opt-in and get this training. It’s totally free and something you can totally do yourself.
What you do is you go to a specific memory and you tap on it and you flip it. People shared with me that doing just this one thing, changing one core memory around relationships totally changed the way they feel. It’s such a relief, such a sense of freedom because they don’t carry that affirmation with them. Memories are affirmations. They’re the strongest ones because they’re the ones that have the feelings in it, the pictures, the sensations, the movies, the voices. That’s how our subconscious mind holds the representation of what we want to see in the world. What we carry within, we’ll see everywhere.
Make sure to grab the training and tap on that. I’ll put the link below and I’ll send it out tomorrow. If you’re not watching it tomorrow, just go and opt-in and you’ll get it.
The last thing that I wanted to tell you – and this is something that’s really, really helped me as I was going through my breakup. This is number three that I’m sharing with you. Start thinking and start looking for proof that the relationships that you desire are possible. You may or may not be right now in a place where you even want to start thinking about getting into a relationship. That doesn’t matter. We’re just going to play this. If you cannot imagine something in your mind, you sure as hell won’t be able to manifest it in your life.
What I want you to do and what I encourage you to do – if you don’t necessarily want to do this right now, just start thinking about it and manifest it in tiny parts and pieces. Start looking proof that it is possible.
This is how I applied this point, or this strategy. When I was going through a divorce, I had two kids – four and seven years old. They’re obviously little kids. I said, “What I want to look for is happier relationships where somebody got remarried, they had two kids and the second marriage was much, much better. It’s a happier relationship than the first one.”
Sure enough, I was able to see at least four couples that created this scenario. There was a woman who had a kid or kids, she married someone in her 30s or 40s or later. There was a man who might or might not have kids and they were just really happy together. Of course, I don’t know all of the details of their interactions and relationships, but those were the people that I knew on a daily basis and I was able to get an insight into their life and ask them questions. What was the second relationship like? What was the second marriage like? I could see how much understanding there, how much kindness there was. They would share with me that the second time around was just so much easier. They knew what they wanted. They were deliberate about creating it. The person who was in that relationship was much kinder, more loving, more honest to them than the first relationship.
What I did was I looked at those people and I said, “If they can do it, I can do it.” It’s the universe bringing you a menu and saying, “Hey, what do you want?” “I want this, this, this and that.” I started looking for the proof and I attracted those people into my life and that’s all I focused on. I never, ever focused on being alone, a single mom or being by myself. The truth is that I am a single mom right now. I’m not married. I’ve started dating pretty fast, pretty soon after my divorce. I had a great time with that experience, so much fun.
In May, I met someone. He’s a special friend of mine. He’s a boyfriend of mine, I guess. We are in a gorgeous, exclusive relationship.
The reason that I’m sharing this with you is because it’s totally possible. People like this came into my life back then and they shared this message. One of them was my client, one of them was my virtual assistant. One of them was a parent/client that I had. They talked about it and said, “Listen, it’s totally possible. If it’s not working, let it go. Heal yourself and move on. It’s time for you to grow up and be happy.”
Keep on tapping, gorgeous. Don’t forget to grab that link to learn how to do the memory switch, the flip of the memory. You can totally change that. It’s a brilliant, brilliant tool. Enjoy the tapping and enjoy your life. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye!