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Today’s video was recorded in the gorgeous city of Venice, were me and my {now} husband went on a trip this summer. I felt inspired and recorded a few videos for you, here is the first on from the series.

The question about fear of getting hurt is something that often comes in my tapping and coaching sessions.

So, today, we’re talking about fear of getting hurt in relationships and how to deal with this.  If you’re afraid of getting hurt in relationships, this is something that I would start with.  I would address if first, because that feeling will drag you or help you make decisions that are not helpful, that are not congruent with who you are.  

Of course, every time we feel the fear, it’s a good thing because it means the subconscious is becoming conscious and it’s okay to release it.  I think so many people believe that fear  {on some level} is good for them. It keeps them safe and prevent from repeating mistakes  Nothing is further away from the truth.  

Well, Fear has served its purpose at some point to keep us safe, but we no longer want just surviving and saving feelings.  We want to thrive. We want to be happy and successful and enjoy traveling and enjoy happy relationships and enjoy beautiful things that life has for us in store.

If you are afraid to get hurt in a relationship, if this fear is very present and real, the first thing you want to do is address it and deal with it.  

 

Watch the video below to help you trully deal with it on a deep level and release it, so that you can move forward and manifest the relationships you want and deserve. {Prefer to read it instead and watch it on the blog, well here is the link to that. Also a great way, if you want to share it}

So, let’s talk about how to deal with fear of getting hurt.

Fear of getting hurt, just like about any other fear comes from previous experiences.  If you’ve been hurt before, naturally, when you enter relationships the first thing that very often pops up, “What if I experience this pain?”  It’s a very real fear and it’s a very real thing to do.  There’s different ways to process it. What worked for me for many years – I’ve been a Faster EFT practitioner for over five years now – is the Faster EFT process.  It really has to do with going within and addressing your past experiences, your memories, your feelings and your beliefs.

What I recommend you do is:

  1. Make a list of all the ways that you’ve been hurt before.

Of course, it’s not an easy exercise.  People will lean away from it because it brings up all this pain.  Here’s a quick tip that I recommend you do.

First, put a time limit.  Take five or ten minutes, write this down really, really quickly.  Second, tap. If you start feeling pain or you start feeling discomfort, that’s your opportunity to heal.  That’s your opportunity to clear it. If you’re dealing with years of inability or not being able to feel your feelings, that’s another good opportunity to do this.  Feel your feelings, tap.

If you know it’s a lot, if you know it’s overwhelming, get a good Faster EFT practitioner to work with you, somebody who can help you process it so you don’t have to reexperience the trauma.  It’s not an easy process and it takes time. I went three or four years before I got there where I was there. But now I am with a man who was loving and respectful and gorgeous and financially and emotionally intelligent.  It really is worth going for it because it’s a proven process and there is an end result to it.

  1. Tap on the memories and change them

It a bit time consuming at first. But you’ll get to the point where it gets easier and easier.. Right now, I tap less, I help people more.  I live the life that I love. I travel Europe. It’s really wonderful and it’s really enjoyable, but it does start with you. It starts within.  If you are not familiar with the memery changing process I ‘ve created one and its called: “How to clear the bad memories memory with Faster EFT.”  I’ll go ahead and put the link so I won’t forget.  It’s very simple. You go into this memory and you tap on it and release the emotional attachment or the emotional heaviness in those feelings, in those memories.

Here’s the truth, guys.  Memories are affirmations.  I’ll say it again.  Memories are affirmations.  As a matter of fact, they are the strongest form of affirmation because they infuse pictures and feelings and visual and sound.  Every time you dive into the memory, guess what happens.  You’re right there! It’s very present, you’re feeling it.  It’s right there and it’s happening right now. All this hurt really has nothing to do with your present relationship, but your opportunity to heal the past and your present relationship will present you this opportunity to heal.

Now, it’s your choice to run away from them and ignore them and pretend that they’re not there.  Or, what we all do – been there, done that – is point your finger and say, “He’s doing this to me.  He’s hurting me. He’s this.” He’s just somebody who is playing this role that you need to be played in your life to help you heal.  Start noticing this dynamic. If you’re afraid to get hurt, start with you. Go back.

Some people will say, “Olga, should I do this work first before entering a relationship?”  No, it doesn’t matter because the fastest, most effective, best way to heal is to get into a relationship and start experiences.  

Now, here’s what’s going to happen.  Some people will repeat the same mistake like 17 times.  I don’t think those are the people who are here right now and listening to this video right now.  A lot of us are here right now, we are ready to go past the old drama and trauma and go to the next level of consciousness where we just want to leave and enjoy and communicate with ease and honesty.  We’ll talk about microscopic truth more. If you are a somebody who is a drama addict, who is repeating a lot of trauma and drama, that’s your pattern. You’ll attract somebody who will help you replay it.  Go there. Go with them and clear it out and let it go. It’s okay to let it go. It’s totally fine to be happy and healthy in gorgeous, sexy relationships. I’ve been there. So many people who have been in those relationships and know that they do exist.  

You deserve it.  It’s your time.

Denise Duffield-Thomas said it best it’s: its your time to grow up and be happy.  

I really, really like that.  I think that’s exactly what was happening with me.  I was replaying my childhood patterns. I wasn’t a grown-up woman.  I am now and in invite you to do the same because it’s a lot of fun.

Alright guys, I’m going to go.  There’s a bridge we want to see here in Venice that’s called Rialto Bridge. I’ll be sure to share pictures in my FB group.  Have a wonderful day and I’ll talk to you later.

Recommended Reading

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